More Like “Upper Respiratory Tract InFUNction”

Please don’t hold that one against me. I’m medicated.

Seriously, though, being entirely out of commission isn’t so bad, at least not with a fridge full of soup and an internet connection.

Liz’s Guide to Being Sick

1. Fluids – Every schoolchild knows that once those glands get swollen, it’s time to chug liquid like there’s no tomorrow. That same schoolchild will also tell you that there are few things in life that compare to the joy of feeling the acid of your citrus beverage cut through mucus like the Four Sword through evil.

2. Nest – You’ll be needing a well-crafted cocoon of warmth while you wait out the ick. Such a cocoon is generally made of jimjams of the softest synthetic fleece, a proper duvet, your entire army of poncey scarves, and a reliable hot water bottle. Don’t worry about how you look: you look like a person who knows how to get cozy.

3. The Word – Spread it. Unless you’re some kind of recluse, you probably have responsibilities that being a snot-covered mess might preclude you from attending to. Before you crawl into your nest/cocoon/Lair of Sickitude, let people know that you’ll not be making it to do whatever it is you’re meant to do. Also, when emailing your poetry professor to say that you won’t be attending class, do not make a William Carlos Williams joke. (Maybe I ought to take the road to the contagious hospital, AMIRITE?)

4. Rest – You probably don’t need to be told this twice. The combination of medication and your body generally being exhausted should  make this one pretty easy. If you’re having a hard time sleeping because you’re afraid of drowning in your own misery, just watch TV. That seems pretty obvious, but some of us think that the same day we had a fight with a Q-Tip, a tea kettle, and the laughing audience in the recording from a Flannery O’Connor reading is the same day to really jump into Omar Khayyam. It’s not. Watch Modern Family and be comfortable enough in yourself to laugh alone in your room.

5. Pace – This is not just referring to how many cups of Lemsip you allow yourself–four a day, really, Doctor. If your bug is sticking around for a couple of days, definitely leave the first one to just getting better. If you’re on the mend by Day Two, try to get back into the swing of things. Mind, when I say “swing”, think hammock more than jitterbug. Do what work you can from bed: unnecessary blog posts, workshop prompts, emails, grad school/job research, etc. While it is tempting to hide behind a mountain of used tissues and do online window shopping all day, the world has not stopped because you’ve a cough.

Feel better, soldier!


Follower Love-Fest #25: Joy

I think the name says it all. When Joy was born, she came out laughing instead of crying, which had the assembled medical staff a little worried at first, but her laugh was downright infectious. Since that day, she’s been been spreading smiles like Johnny Appleseed did,well, apple seeds.


4 thoughts on “More Like “Upper Respiratory Tract InFUNction”

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